Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
