last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
two words...techno handjob
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
