The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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