so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have fence marks all over my body
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
