I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
