I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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