big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
