respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
