Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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