I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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