so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
