Four minutes until I can fart!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
How's work?
Spinning.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
