we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
