i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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