rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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