dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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