Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
