:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize