I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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