she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
