you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
