Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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