is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Are we still banned from the library?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
