I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
