you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize