you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize