I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
