Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
