if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
