Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
