how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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