just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
