: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
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Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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