My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
