Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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