operation harelip BJ is a go
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
