I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
