Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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