i wish peter jackson would direct porn
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
