Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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