Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
