Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
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Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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