and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
