theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
