we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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