worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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