I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
As shirtless as possible
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
