I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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