i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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