The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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