you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
