He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
