paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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