my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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