i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
