Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
