Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize