Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
